


#ZOSAN

by donutsandcoffee



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe, Everybody knows, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Modern AU, Pining Roronoa Zoro, Social Media, ft. zoro being hilariously terrible with technology
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 03:54:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17093549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donutsandcoffee/pseuds/donutsandcoffee
Summary: “Who are they even… 'shipping' me with? They know Usopp is with Kaya, and didn’t you just make your whole thing with Vivi public a few weeks ago—“ Zoro trails off as realization hits him, all at once, and he feels his stomach drop in the same way it would whenever he faces a particularly strong opponent in a kendo match.“No,” he breathes.“Obviously,” Nami says, shoves her phone into his face and points at a comment that says,OMG PLZ blonde and green are sitting side by side again. OTP!as Zoro sees his life flash before his eyes. “They’re shipping you with Sanji.”(Or, the one where the Strawhats are Youtube personalities and people, naturally, start shipping Zoro and Sanji.)





	#ZOSAN

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! It's been 86 years... Work life has been hectic and I had to work on some non-OP commissions on the fandom side, and before I knew it, this account has been largely abandoned. I'm sorry. I do still love these two even after all these years though, so here's my meager offering for them, and also an attempt at writing something longer than 5000 words for the boys. ;v;
> 
> I'm still _not_ satisfied with the formatting of this fic especially with regard to the fake social media posts, and it'll see some changes in the future. I'm posting it anyway because I have to start _somewhere_ , and hopefully someone out there who's better at coding/ccs/html than me can give me some tips on how to improve the formats. /o\
> 
> Find me on twitter [@viinsmoke](http://twitter.com/viinsmoke).

**catburglar**

572 posts | 2.1M followers | 47 following

**Nami Bellemere**

stealing your hearts, one picture at a time

http://youtube.com/user/thestrawhatshub

 

❤ **8,277 Likes**

 **catburglar** lunch with the fam **@sogeking @pirateking @strawhats #food #nofilter #cafe**

**View all 5,405 comments**

**ivolatan** OMG THOSE TWO GUYS ARE IN THE PICTURE AGAIN

 **bananapigeon** ok seriously, who are those two untagged guys in these pics. esp the blond one with the eyebrow. i keep seeing them in the vlogs too.

 **mikphail** **@catburglar** Can you tell us the name of the green-haired guy sitting on the right? Beside the blonde? Asking for a friend.

 

+

 

“People are asking for you,” is the first thing Nami says as Zoro walks into the apartment she shares with Usopp and heads straight towards the fridge.

“Which people?” Zoro asks, suspicious. The comment seems innocent out of context, but Zoro narrows his eyes at her anyways because it’s _Nami._  “Actual people? Or,” he pauses, sifting through his mental vocabulary before giving up and settling with, “ _your_ people.”

He can hear her laugh from the living room. “Zoro, people from the internet are still real people.”

“They aren’t _just_ people,” Usopp pokes his head out of his room to join in the conversation, “they are the subscribers, nay, followers— _nay_ — _fans_ of the Great Usopp—“

“They’re _strangers_ ,” Zoro points out, matter-of-factly. He doesn’t really get this whole…internet thing Usopp and Nami seem to have made a decent amount of money from no matter how many _Technology 101_ Lectures from Franky he’s sat through. They work for Luffy’s YouTube Channel—the Strawhats Hub—and post a bunch of videos online about how they have burger for lunch or some other mundane shit, and somehow people pay for that. Well, the sponsors pay for that, technically, but they get money all the same. Zoro doesn’t really get it.

He does understand one thing for sure, though. “I don’t give out my details to strangers.”

“Zoro, you’re like, a _decade_ too old for Stranger Danger,” Nami says, disapproving, “and you know you can’t avoid being famous if you want to be the strongest swordsman in the world.”

Zoro sighs at the familiar argument between them, and makes sure he groans loud enough for her to hear. He’s usually up for any kind of sparring, verbal or otherwise, but not today—not after four back-to-back, two-hour lectures at the university and kendo club training afterwards with no breaks in between. He snatches the nearest canned beer with a little too much force, and it hits the fridge door with a loud _bang_.

Nami seems to catch on his sour mood and switches the subject. “You know, I think they’re shipping you.”

Zoro blinks. He waits for a second. And another, and...yeah, the words still don't make sense. He gives her a confused stare. “What does that even mean?”

“it means they want you to be together with someone,” Usopp, their designated Technology-to-Zoro translator, explains. “Like, _together_ together.”

Zoro scoffs. “What is this, high school?” He waves a dismissive hand at Nami, deciding to focus more on the free beer in his hand instead, eyeing it appreciatively. Nami’s an unpredictable storm with flexible moral compass reminiscent of a witch, but she provides an endless supply of booze and is the only person who can hold her own against him, so Zoro figures it all balances out in the end.

The cold liquid hits the back of his throat with a familiar biting sensation, and it calms him down enough to finally process Usopp’s words. “Who are they even… _shipping_ me with?” The foreign word stumbles clumsily out of his mouth, and he pauses, trying to wrap his mind around the concept. “They know Usopp is with Kaya, and didn’t you just make your whole thing with Vivi public a few weeks ago—“

Zoro trails off as realization hits him, all at once, and he feels his stomach drop in the same way it would whenever he faces a particularly strong opponent in a kendo match.

“No,” he breathes.

“Obviously,” Nami says, shoves her phone into his face and points at a YouTube comment that says, _OMG PLZ blonde and green are sitting side by side again. OTP!_ as Zoro sees his life flash before his eyes. “They’re shipping you with Sanji.”

 

+

 

 **nami** @catburglar

We’re kind of bored, so @sogeking and I are answering everyone’s questions in the next hour! Don’t forget to use the hashtag #AskUsoNa <3

 

 **nami** @catburglar

so a million dollar AND a free trip around the world? I’d take it! 

> **\m/** @queenmelissa
> 
> Would you get a million dollar but every time you sneeze you’re being teleported to a random place in the world #Askusona

 

 **nami** @catburglar

I’ve known Usopp since high school. I’ve known Luffy the longest, though. We’ve been friends since we were cute little ten-year-olds.

> **Jenna Rowen** @jrowen
> 
> #AskUsoNa How did you get to know each other? Love your vids!

 

 **nami** @catburglar

Zoro and Sanji are roommates, not dating. Or are they? ;)

> **bad luck kate** @gingerchic
> 
> are the two guys in some of your vids dating (U KNOW WHICH TWO) #askusona @sogeking @catburglar

 

 **bad luck kate** @gingerchic  
replying to @catburglar

HOLY SHIT DID U JUST

 

 **bad luck kate** @gingerchic  
replying to @gingerchic @catburglar

WE JUST GOT A FUCKING NAMES REVEAL. @ STRAWHAT RPF FANDOM THIS IS NOT A DRILL

 

+

 

The smell of well-cooked seafood, mixed with a tinge of booze, touches every nook and cranny of his apartment as people eat, drink, or laugh with each other (or, in Luffy’s case, all three of them at once). Zoro sprawls comfortably across his favorite sofa in the middle of the cacophony, and he closes his eyes, soaking in the familiar atmosphere, a half-empty can of beer dangling by his right hand.

Today isn’t their usual weekly Friday Night Hang Out; today, Ace is on leave from the military for the first time in _ages_. Luffy promised his big brother a huge, awesome feast, and their ragtag group of broke college students deliver the way they know how—His and Sanji’s apartment, Brook’s music, Sanji’s food.

Zoro doesn’t care much about parties, but he _does_ like Ace and his stories about Whitebeard's platoon. Free booze is also a plus.

“Tired already?” A voice asks over his head, and Zoro has spent enough time with Luffy’s family ever since he was ten to know it’s Ace without having to look up.

“As if,” he says, skipping the greeting. “Just making sure I don’t appear in Usopp’s videos.” He is suddenly reminded of the photo Nami showed him a few days ago, the one on the… instant… gram… thing… and adds, “or photos.”

“Oh, I’ve heard about that!” Ace plops onto the other sofa across the table, entering Zoro’s field of vision. “I heard somebody’s famous now.”

“Tch,” Zoro grunts, but refuses to elaborate. He doesn’t like where the conversation is going.

“And I heard,” Ace continues anyways, his grin all-too-innocent and therefore completely terrifying, “someone’s famous _with someone else_.”

Zoro jolts upright from his position, for once ignoring the beer he spilled on the carpet—Sanji will kill him for that later, but whatever—and turns to search for Usopp among the crowd. He glares at Usopp in a way that says, _I’m going to deliver you a drawn-out, painful death_ , and Usopp _pointedly_ looks anywhere but back at him.

Ace chuckles, impervious to Zoro’s death glares. “Actually, Luffy was the one who told me.”

“The shipping thing sounds so cool,” Luffy, that _traitor_ , chimes in around a mouthful of meatballs. “I wonder who they’d ship me with.”

“Meat, probably,” Sanji says before Zoro could, and bodily pushes Luffy aside with his leg to place a plateful of fried prawns on the table. Both brothers’ eyes widen comically at the sight and the two of them dive into the plate as Sanji narrows his eyes at Zoro, “that is, if people can even be trusted these days. I still can’t believe they, what’s the word— _ship_ me with marimo head over here when Nami is also in the picture.”

That—well.

Stings a little.

Zoro mentally maneuvers around the flare of jealousy and opts for anger, because it’s easier. Familiar. “Not like I’m enjoying the idea of dating someone with those eyebrows,” he fires back.

Sanji’s left eye twitches at that. “Didn’t know you have enough intelligence to even _form_ an idea, seaweed brain.”

“Pervert cook.”

“Brainless moss.”

“Please keep the lover’s spat within the privacy of your bedroom,” Nami teases as she somehow manages to gracefully pluck a prawn out of the mess Ace and Luffy are making on the table.

“Right, _Mellorine_!” Sanji sing-songs in record speed.

Zoro sighs and puts his face in his hand. “Do you even listen to yourself, idiot,” he says, and narrowly dodges a kick to the head.

“Says the person who got lost so often the train station officers from the neighboring city start recognizing him!” Sanji yells back, and avoids the pillow thrown at him with practiced ease clearly born through repeated fights.

“How are you two even friends,” Ace observes in between chews, amused.

Zoro and Sanji _instantly_ whip their heads towards Ace in unison, and say, in eerie synchronicity, “we’re not _friends_.”

Nami shakes her head, but it’s fond. “ _That’s_ how.”

 

+

 

❤ **2,103 Likes**

 **catburglar** exclusive photo of Zoro enjoying Sanji’s food **#nofilter #candid**

**View all 7,151 comments**

**martiknee** I assume Sanji is a chef, then?

 **thefantasyren** I still can’t believe we’ve been blessed with their names. Strawhat Fandom, rejoice!

 **ostenmah** **@martiknee** ur an idiot, he could just be someone whos really good at cooking

 **martiknee** Wow, thanks for the unprompted hostility, I was just asking. Either way, do you fucking have eyes, look at those prawns. Look me in the eyes and tell me he cooks THOSE and doesn’t cook for a living. **@ostenmah**

 

 

 **brie** @strawhatnami

so I heard Zoro is in his college’s kendo club

 

 **a gay** @bisexualusopp  
replying to @strahwatnami

he’s the CAPTAIN

 

 **brie** @strawhatnami  
replying to @bisexualusopp

source pls?

 

 **Kal** @THEKALZONE  
replying to @strawhatnami @bisexualusopp

can confirm, my brother goes to the same college as him, wasn’t exactly difficult to find a dude w green hair named zoro

 

 **a gay** @bisexualusopp  
replying to @THEKALZONE @strawhatnami

apparently he used to appear on a bunch of tv shows about modern swordsmen or sth with his sister back then?

 

 **brie** @strawhatnami  
replying to @bisexualusopp @THEKALZONE

HOLY SHIT I REMEMBER WATCHING IT WHEN I WAS LIKE. FIVE. kuina was my fave. I wonder if she goes to the same college too?

 

+

 

The thing is—the crux of the problem of this whole mess of a situation is that—Zoro has these _codes_. Some sort of personal, unsaid rules he has dedicated his life to following. And now this whole fiasco is slowly breaking these codes—two, particularly:

  1. Zoro, as a general rule, dislikes attention. He used to be some sort of a child star way back when, before Usopp and Nami and even Luffy, before—the thing with Kuina. It was hardly bearable when Kuina was with him, holding his hand whenever it started to tremble during tapings, and now with her gone he’s not touching that industry with a ten-feet pole. That means no stupid interviews with awkward pauses and one-word answers, no troublesome photo shoots that leave him with cramps at places he didn’t know _could_ get cramps, and most importantly, no getting recognized on the street by random strangers. He looks like shit on photos. He doesn’t even _have_ an autograph.

  2. Zoro has the largest, most pathetic crush on Sanji, and nobody can find out.




The second rule is more important than the first, of course. So far the breaking of the first code only results in minor inconveniences, but the fact that there’s a whole group of people dedicated to telling the world that Zoro wants to get into Sanji’s pants is not something he can live with. Not something _Sanji_ can live with, that’s for sure. Sanji has been brushing them off as a joke, thankfully, but Zoro figures there’s only so much the Straightest Man on Earth could take before he would start avoiding Zoro in disgust and pretty much stomping on Zoro’s heart in the process.

Which is why, as soon as he spots Usopp coming out of the college’s workshop, Zoro stops him in his track and growls, “this is all your fault.”

Usopp immediately covers his head out of instinct. “Whatever it is, I didn’t do it and I’m sorry.”

Zoro crosses his arms in front of his chest and huffs. “Stop it—I’d never hit you just because I feel like it.”

“This bump on the right side of my head disagrees,” Usopp says as he peeks through his fingers, “I think it’s developing into a _tumor._ ”

“You can’t get a tumor from getting knocked in the head,” Zoro says.

“I don’t think you’re qualified to make that judgment,” Usopp insists, but visibly relaxes anyways when he doesn’t see Zoro’s hands anywhere near his head. “What is it?”

“It’s just,” Zoro says, almost ominously. “People.”

“You’re not a fan of them. Yeah, I got that, like, five years ago when I first met you.”

“Shut up, I’m not done. People, they—“ Zoro drops his voice as low as possible to adequately convey the severity of his predicament, “—they started recognizing me. From your pictures.”

Usopp visibly perks up at that. “I _know_ , right? People say, _Usopp, being famous on the internet is nothing, no one’s going to know who you are in real life,_ but hater’s gonna hate, you know? One time a princess from a European country asked for my autograph—“

“It’s not a good thing,” Zoro cuts in, ignoring Usopp’s make-believe story. “Three different people asked for my photograph on the way here. A girl tried taking a picture while I was eating and I accidentally spat in her _face_.”

Usopp at least has the audacity to grimace at that. “I guess—I guess I can see where you’re coming from, but come on, Zoro, live a little!” He emphasizes with a  friendly pat on Zoro’s shoulder. “There are, like, thousands of people lining up to be in your shoes.”

Zoro can’t help bristling at the touch. “I didn’t sign up for this. Not like you and Nami did, with Luffy and the whole YouTube thing,” he says and adds, more urgently, “especially not for the whole thing with the Cook.”

Usopp should know. Usopp _does_ know, because Zoro told him once under the influence of one too many drinks. They never really talked about it afterwards because Zoro has the emotional constipation of a sixteen-year-old emo teen who still listens to _My Chemical Romance_ , and Usopp has enough self-preservation instinct not to bring it up, but there’s always this silent agreement that Usopp _knows_.

Usopp raises his hands in the universal sign of defeat. “Look, I admit things did go out of hands a little bit, but it’s nothing big. It’s the internet. People will ship any two people who so much breathe the same air.”

Zoro narrows his eyes critically at Usopp, and while Usopp gulps under the scrutiny, he also looks—honest. Trustworthy. Damn it, Zoro _does_ have a soft spot for his tattletale of a friend, and one day it’s going to be his downfall.

“All right, fine, I’ll take your word for it,” he says, and Usopp releases a relieved sigh, which immediately gets sucked back in as soon as Zoro growls, “but if Nami even says something remotely different—“

“If I say something what?”

Zoro is a skillful and trained martial art practitioner. Rumor has it that he has no openings; opponents who go into a fight expecting one would get a reality check in the form of a kendo sword to the head. _He’s like a wild predator_ , they all say, _and you are his natural prey._

They are all wrong. Sitting comfortably on the apex of the food pyramid is Nami, and she knows _all_ of Zoro’s weaknesses like the back of her hand.

Zoro _jumps_ and thinks his heart stops for a moment as Nami appears out of nowhere and joins in the conversation, and she laughs when she notices his surprise.

“Shut up,” he growls, and she just grins even wider.

“I was just telling him about the shippers,” Usopp fills her in, oblivious to Zoro’s mini-heart attack, “that they’re. You know. Harmless?”

Zoro doesn’t like the unspoken question mark tacked at the end of Usopp’s sentence, and he likes it even less when Nami says, “well, I wouldn’t exactly call them harmless.”

Zoro glowers at that. “Explain.”

“I mean, you’ve been _way_ too closed up about yourself, you’re practically an urban legend,” Nami says, “and people _love_ knowing things, Zoro. It makes them feel like they’re part of something special. When the internet wants something, there’s no stopping the internet.”

“Like legalizing weed,” Usopp adds, “give them information and you can control what’s coming out. Give them nothing and you’re unleashing a hungry beast.”

“I’m not going to start using The Instant Gram for them,” Zoro says, frustrated, and bits his lips in a way that almost resembles a pout. _Not_ that he pouts, of course.

“I told you it’s not called the Instant—you know what, I tried,” Usopp says under his breath, and Zoro ignores him.

“We’ve been at this before, you know,” Nami continues, shaking her head, “they want to know things about you, and they’re going to find out. Age. Height. Blood type. The brand of shampoo you use. Which side of the bed you’re sleeping in. The fact that you have a crush on Sanji—“

Zoro stops in his track. He blinks. “No one—no one knows that,” he says, and curses himself for stuttering. He catches Usopp’s eyes, and reluctantly adds, “unless I told them.”

“You never told me,” Nami points out.

“You don’t count,” Zoro insists, “you can read me like a book.”

“I want to be flattered,” Nami pats him on the head, like humoring a small child, “but it frankly doesn’t feel like much of an accomplishment when your book only says _I HAVE A CRUSH ON SANJI_ in eighty point bold font.”

He definitely _doesn’t_ blush at that. Desperate, he turns to Usopp. “This isn’t what you told me.”

Nami _looks_ at him, and is that—damn it. Is that _pity_ in her eyes? “Zoro, I don’t know what lies Usopp has been telling you this time, but everyone knows you have a Big Gay Crush on Sanji.”

“It’s not a—a Big Gay Crush,” he sputters, “and both of you hardly counts as ‘everyone.’”

“No, really,” Nami says as she pulls up safari on her iPhone to open the _fuckyeahzosan_ tumblr page, “I mean _everyone_.”

 

+

 

**FuckYeahZosan**

The very first Zosan Blog. Zoro and Sanji flirt with each other and ignore everyone else in group pictures because they’re assholes in love.

mods: zorosanjis and queerbellemere

our edits 

fanart  |  fanfics  |  fanmixes 

 

**fuckyeahzosan**

Nami just posted a new picture and it’s everything we’ve ever hoped for.

#sanji is cooking for zoro #what is air #zosan #official 

**452 notes**

 

 **fuckyeahzosan** reblogged **zoro-sanji-for-the-win**  

> I can’t believe we only got their names a month ago and today we’ve got two dozens new pictures where they surreptitiously look into each other’s eyes, found out they’ve been roommates for _years_ , gone on yearly road trips with just the two of them, and are practically canon.
> 
> I feel like this has all been a collective fever dream we just haven’t woken up from.

It’s all real and you better believe it.

#reblogged #text

**2,252 notes**

 

 **anonymous** asked

> Ugh, people like you are the reason why I hate the Strawhat Fandom so much. Zoro and Sanji aren’t even SIGNED to the Strawhats Agency. They’re just FRIENDS of Nami and Usopp. And now they’re the most popular pairing in this fandom? Bullshit.

Sorry, we can’t hear you over how often Zoro and Sanji appear in the Strawhats' videos they may as well be Strawhats, and how even Luffy treat them like they’re part of the fandom.

#asks and answers #mod a

**564 notes**

 

 **fuckyeahzosan** reblogged **queennami**

> zoro + looking at sanji with a love-struck look on his face when he thinks no one’s looking

#THE THING THAT REALLY GOT ME ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP #or friendship or whatever #is that it’s so loud and flashy you can’t help but notice #but with glimpses of quiet moments like this #like you KNOW they have the typical alpha male friendship #roughhousing and name calling; the whole package #from the way nami and usopp talk about them in interviews and stuff #and how they glare at each other in pictures with insults teetering on the tips of their tongues #but sometimes we get glimpses of this when they think no one’s looking #zoro staring at sanji – startsruck – like there are constellations clinging on sanji’s back #and there’s always that small smile zoro probably reserves just for sanji #and I Die #stab me in the chest and it would’ve hurt less #zoro #sanji #zosan #strawhatedit #rpf for ts (via queennami)

#reblogged #photoset #tags #lord have mercy on me 

**4,425 notes**

 

+

 

Usopp is  _so_ going home with a new bump on his head.

 


End file.
